Should I Write “I’m Bisexual” In My Profile?
Got a question for Rachel, our Sex & Dating guru? Submit it below.
Q: I’m a 32-year-old bisexual male, and I recently started doing online dating. I am on Match.com and am seeking women for a serious relationship. Should I write that I am bi in my profile? It's sad that girls may judge me because of this. Shouldn’t I give them a chance to know me first?
A: Welcome to the online dating world! There are so many options on Match. To save yourself time, money and stress, I think you should disclose your sexuality either in your profile or in the initial emails with a girl. At the very latest, do it in a phone call before you even ask her for a date. If you want to succeed at this game, you’ll have to narrow down your options and get yourself in front of the ladies you’ll be most compatible with. You’ll have to avoid unpleasantly surprising your dates and ultimately having dating fails.
Now I know you are more than just your sexuality, and in an ideal world, all girls would totally love you for who you are, but let me tell you the reality: No matter how you spin it, some girls just won’t be comfortable with the fact that you’ve hooked up/hook up with/or may want to hook up with other dudes. Personally, I relate and can clue you in to the mentality of many straight single girls. It’s like this: We already have to worry about our men’s eyes wandering to other girls. Having to worry that they may leave us for other guys and potentially become fully homosexual is just too much for us to deal with. Many of us are totally cool with you being bi—just not with you being bi and our boyfriends! There is nothing wrong with us for having this preference, and there is nothing wrong with you for swinging both ways. These are preferences. You’ll succeed in dating if you are what the ladies prefer. Tell the truth early on, and you’ll meet the women who are not only comfortable with, but prefer to be with, a bi guy like you. There are women out there. Look for those who are very open minded, socially liberal and maybe even bi curious themselves.